Wine Predictions, 2013: Part Two (by Chris Kassel)

Posted: January 3, 2013 by wynmaker in Wine, World wine news
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

crystalball

The following column needs to be taken seriously.  It was channeled via ‘psychography’, wherein the author falls into a trance-like state and is then possessed by some disembodied external force which composes a written prognostication without the subject’s conscious awareness. 

The ‘nominal’ author, Christian Kassel, was given an extensive polygraph examination afterward, and the only question that drew an ‘inconclusive’ was when he was asked if the machine was actually plugged in.

* Note that before the autowriting began, Kassel had already typed the dateline as Dec. 31, 2012…  As you can see, it was modified to ‘2013’ by whatever otherworldy haruspex had seized control of his phalanges, his soul and his personal computer.

Dec. 31st, 2013:  The Wine Year In Review

I think we can all agree that the global vortex that spun the Planet of Plonk out of control and led to the downfall of the Obama administration can trace its origins to January 22, 2013—the day after the President’s second inauguration.
Malia, in a world where everyone is Aryan.
On that day, the First Family’s 14-year-old-daughter Malia was diagnosed with an extremely rare form of acne known as nodulocystic papuphilia, a skin disorder that impairs the body’s ability to coagulate pus.

So physically disgusting—and psychologically devastating—is this disease that teenagers are frequently placed in state-run sensory-deprivation chambers throughout the duration of puberty.
Read on …

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